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Set Yourself Up for Success

Some who experience stress during the holidays list challenging family dynamics as a root cause.

Andrea Savage, a Counselor with Duke’s Personal Assistance Service, recommends making a plan beforehand to create conditions where time spent with family members can be more satisfying than stressful. Think of upbeat activities to enjoy during a visit with family members – such as taking a walk, playing a game or watching a movie.

Savage it’s OK to simply make visits shorter. Instead of an overnight stay, plan a day trip or stay at a hotel room to have your own space.

Most importantly, Savage said, focus on the positive parts of relationships. Odds are, there are qualities challenging family members have that can make spending time together pleasant.

“Make sure you remember the good things about them and focus on those,” Savage said.

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Set Boundaries

From overspending on gifts to overcommitting on social plans, the holiday season can strain wallets and schedules. Savage recommends setting clear boundaries with your time and your budget.

Short on energy or time for a holiday event? Savage said it’s fine to skip it or make a brief appearance. Does a gift feel beyond a budget? Trust that instinct and choose something else. You can also suggest setting spending limits for gift exchanges to emphasize thoughtfulness rather than cost.

“It’s all about setting realistic expectations,” Savage said. “By setting some boundaries, you can keep yourself from feeling exhausted and avoid stress in January when credit card bills show up.”

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Keep Memories Alive

Amid the gatherings of the holidays, the absence of friends, family and colleagues who have passed away often brings up sadness.

In these times, Duke Health Senior Clinical Chaplain Artie Hendricks, Coordinator for Duke University Hospital’s Bereavement Services Program, said it’s healthy to acknowledge the loss.

“A lot of times folks are fearful of bringing up someone who’s no longer with them because they don’t want to bring up something sad at a celebratory time of year,” Hendricks said. “I say the opposite, there should be time and intentionality around talking about what that person meant and that you miss them. Instead of avoiding talking about someone you’re missing, bring them up. Talk about the good times and the laughs you had together.”

Hendricks also recommends starting or continuing traditions that people who have died, such as making a favorite dish or incorporating activities they enjoyed. In doing so, you feel connected to them and recognize the happy memories they left behind.

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Listen to Your Body

From buffets to back-to-back events, the holidays can throw normal routines out of balance.

Brodzki Pilato, the Assistant Professor in Duke’s Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, said that one of the best ways to stay grounded is to maintain familiar eating patterns as much as possible in timing and food choices.

“It doesn’t matter what everybody else is doing – honor your hunger and honor your fullness,” she said.

That same self-awareness applies to movement.

Carlos Velasquez, a fitness specialist with LIVE FOR LIFE, Duke’s employee wellness program, said physical activity is one of the most effective ways to manage stress. Just five minutes of physical activity can stimulate anti-anxiety effects.

“For managing stress, any physical activity that you enjoy counts as a beneficial for activity for your mind and body,” Velasquez said.  “Activities like taking walks or even more passive activities like yardwork and birdwatching all get you moving around outside and are fantastic for your well-being.”
The key, both experts agree, is to pay attention to what your body needs and give yourself permission to respond with care.

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Make a Plan for the New Year

The beginning of the new year is a time when many people rededicate themselves to their physical well-being. Savage suggested doing the same for your mental well-being. If you’re dealing with difficult emotions or wellness concerns, or you want to plan for how to better handle the new year, connect with PAS for a no-charge consultation. PAS also offers free monthly "Reflect and Connect" webinars that can help reduce stress through guided reflection and writing prompts.

“I like to remind people that whatever you’re feeling, it’s OK,” Savage said. “It’s OK to pause, examine what you’re feeling and decide what you want to do.”

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As the new year approaches, what small steps will you take in 2026 to grow – at work, at home and everywhere in between? Share here.

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